You Know You’re a Parent When…

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“The hardest part of parenting is when I’m with my kids.”

These wise words were spoken by comedian Jim Gaffigan, who has five children of his own. Parenting is hard 100% of the time, and it’s something you can never truly understand until you’re actually in it.

One of our favorite things we do at the Care Center is provide a Pregnancy & Parenting Class for new moms and dads. We love providing an environment where these women and men can develop friendships and a support network while gaining practical tools for the exciting days and months ahead.

So in honor of the moms and dads who attended their first session of Pregnancy & Parenting Class this week, here are 20 ways you can know for sure you’re a parent.

You Know You’re a Parent When…

  1. You instinctively hide your snacks between bites because you’re so used to tiny vultures trying to steal them.
  2. You use words like “potty” and “pee pee” when there are no kids around.
  3. Your newborn throws up all over your bed at 2am, so you lay a towel over it and go back to sleep because sleep is EVERYTHING.
  4. You utilize the gym childcare to meet your friend and drink coffee for an hour instead of actually working out.
  5. You feel the need to call your mom weekly to apologize for your personal behavior as a child.
  6. You find yourself in a situation where you ask yourself the question, “Is this poop or chocolate?”
  7. You forget one ingredient at the grocery store and contemplate if making dinner is worth taking the kids out again. And then quickly decide to order pizza.
  8. Every surface in your house is either sticky or gritty or both.
  9. You wear noise cancelling headphones while cooking dinner so you don’t have to hear “Mama, Mommy, Ma, Mother, Mommy…”
  10. You wear blue jeans and mascara and your husband asks, “Where are you going all dressed up??”
  11. You haven’t showered since Sunday and you’re not exactly sure which Sunday.
  12. You and your husband discuss poop textures on a date night.
  13. You can’t comprehend why someone would plan a family event after 7pm.
  14. You’re way too invested in Peppa Pig’s shenanigans.
  15. You feel various food items squish between your toes on your kitchen floor and just keep walking because you don’t care anymore.
  16. You take the scenic route in the car just to keep the kids contained a little longer.
  17. “Sleeping in” means sleeping past 7 am and still waking up with a child’s foot in your face.
  18. A successful day is if you and all the kids are dressed by 9 am. It doesn’t matter what happens after that. The day is already a success.
  19. You haven’t slept through the night in at least 4 years.
  20. Your heart is full of more love and joy than you ever thought possible.
You know you're a parent when you feel various food items squish between your toes on your kitchen floor and just keep walking because you don’t care anymore.Click To Tweet

Parenting may be one of the weirdest and most frustrating experiences you can have—but it’s also, without question, one of the most joy-filled and rewarding. What other hilarious things have you done or said since becoming a parent? We’d love to hear from you!

Mary Holloman is the Communications Coordinator at GPCC. She created this list by conducting extensive interviews and psychological tests with the following parents: Priscilla Martin, Katelyn Lust, Meredith Weber, and Laura Thacker. All of them are over-tired and over-the-moon in love with their kids.