Postpartum is difficult no matter the circumstances, but taking care of a newborn and a toddler is next-level parenting. How do you keep your small toddler happy and cared for while you are running on little sleep, recovering from labor, and teaching your newborn how to eat? How can you help your toddler understand and accept the shift in your family’s life?
Here are several tips to prepare for this change!
1. Talk with your toddler ahead of time about the transition.
Emphasize his new role as a big brother, showing him that he has a part in this, too. Involve him in the process of getting ready for the baby. Perhaps let him pick things for the baby or help prepare the baby’s space! Introduce the name of the new baby to build a mental connection.
2. Allow your toddler to help care for the baby.
Our toddlers are more capable than we realize! Our young toddlers can hand us things out of reach, throw away diapers, give the baby a pacifier that falls out, and much more! Our older toddlers can hold the baby, provide entertainment for shorter periods of time, and help with bath time or feeding. You know what your child can do best!
3. Try to maintain a somewhat regular routine with your toddler.
This can reassure her that, despite the new baby, she is still just as important. Providing extra snuggles, playing her favorite game, consistency in her bedtime routine, or simply asking about her day are all ways you can provide some normalcy.
4. Prepare a basket of special toys, books, and snacks to entertain your toddler.
Only use them during times like feeding or changing to preserve their novelty and entertain him while your hands are full.
5. Ask for extra hands with your toddler.
Do you have family or close friends nearby? Don’t be afraid to ask them to take your toddler on play dates or come over to entertain him regularly. Your toddler will likely benefit from stimulating time outside the house or with another person, while you can focus on the newborn or your self-care. Accept help when others offer, too. It can feel exhausting mentally to accept help over and over again during postpartum; however, we were never meant to experience postpartum alone! Use every resource available to you, and your future, more rested self will thank you.
6. Spend a few minutes of undivided attention each day with your toddler.
Play whatever she wants to play. Color together and let her explain her drawing to you. Cuddle and read books together while your newborn is fed or sleeping. Focus on connecting with your toddler when you have a few moments.
7. Consider investing in a baby carrier and wearing your newborn.
Wearing your baby is a great option to leave your hands free to care for your toddler (as long as you don’t feel pain from the weight).
If you’re reading this post, you are already doing a great job as a mom! You care about loving your toddler well during this challenging season. Your best is still giving 100% for your child–even if it is 50% of what you could give before your newborn arrived.
Adrienne Bergmeier
Adrienne Bergmeier is a Communications Coordinator at The Pregnancy Network.