October was Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness month. Studies tell us that as many as 10-15 of every 100 pregnancies end in loss (often termed “miscarriage” or, within the medical community, “spontaneous abortion”).
A recent study shows that many women who walk through this type of loss experience a significant increase in anxiety and depression, with as many as 1 in 3 women developing short-term PTSD, and 1 in 6 developing long-term PTSD.
In a recent social media survey, one mother expressed she wished others knew that “no matter when loss happened, it was still a child we lost.”
Pregnancy and infant loss are devastating. Unfortunately, many women and families are left feeling isolated and alone in their grief.
In the same survey, women shared the responses they received from friends and family in the wake of their losses. Some women expressed the hurt they felt when others implied the loss was the mother’s fault. Some moms felt their experiences were minimized based on how far along they were at the time of each loss. And some women were met with silence because, as one mother noted, “it’s very difficult to know what to say.”
Practical Resources to Help After Pregnancy Loss
While it is difficult to know what to say, we believe it’s important to equip ourselves with the appropriate tools and language to support those walking through loss. Below are a variety of resources on the topic of pregnancy loss organized by category.
If you have experienced this type of loss, we hope these resources will help you feel seen and loved. If you have not experienced this type of loss but know someone who has, we hope you’ll save this article so you can reference it when needed. Read through personal stories or listen to a podcast to help you understand and empathize with those who are hurting. These resources can help your loved ones feel less alone.
Books and Devotionals
- Loved Baby: 31 Devotions Helping You Grieve and Cherish Your Child After Pregnancy Loss by Sarah Philpott
- Courageously Expecting: 30 Days of Encouragement for Pregnancy After Loss by Jenny Albers
- Grace Like Scarlett: Grieving with Hope After Miscarriage and Loss by Adriel Booker
- Held: 31 Biblical Reflections on God’s Comfort and Care in the Sorrow of Miscarriage by Abbey Wedgeworth
- Unexpecting: Real Talk on Pregnancy Loss by Rachel Lewis
- Ours: Biblical Comfort for Men Grieving Miscarriage by Eric Schumacher
Children's Books
- The Moon is Always Round by Jonathan Gibson. A moving story about a family who is expecting a new baby sister, but she is stillborn. A very powerful, biblical response to the question of “Why.”
- Quinn Says Goodbye by Christie Thomas. An owl deals with the pain of saying goodbye to a friend, and trusting God even though he doesn’t have all the answers.
- It Will Be Okay: Trusting God Through Fear and Change by Lysa TerKeurst. A great story about how there is purpose behind pain.
- The Invisible String by Patrice Karst. Help dealing with loss or also separation. Great description of how love connects us with others.
- Fly High: Understanding Grief with God’s Help by Michelle Medlock Adams and Janet Johnson. A story about grief and loss that also offers Scripture verses, journaling activities, etc. There is also a general market version of this book that does not include Scripture or references to any faith/religion.
- Goodbye to Goodbyes by Lauren Chandler. A retelling of the resurrection of Lazarus, with promises of the future resurrection and reunions with those we love.
Podcasts
Articles That Include Personal Stories
- There is Both: God’s Goodness in the Joy and Sadness
- No Bodies to Bury: The Unspoken Pain of Early Pregnancy Loss
- The Longest Night of My Life
- No Longer Empty-Handed
- The Only Heart Beating Was Mine
- God is There for the Hard Parts
- Some Days I Forget You’re Gone
- We Grieve Because We Loved
- The Truth About Pregnancy Loss
- Grief is a Gift: The Pain of Pregnancy Loss
- Unplanned Pregnancy and Loss: A Story of Miscarriage and Peace
Mary Holloman
Mary is the Communications Coordinator at The Pregnancy Network.