Wondering how you can support a friend who has shared she is unexpectedly pregnant? No matter how much it may seem like she has it “together,” she likely needs your friendship now more than ever. Don’t miss this opportunity to be a voice of encouragement to her.
So, what do you say? Where do you begin? Here’s a helpful guide on how to love on someone in your life who is facing an unplanned pregnancy.
Encourage Her
Even the most confident woman has moments of self-doubt. Encouraging words can mean the world—whether you send her a text, a handwritten note, or talk over coffee—make sure to remind your friend she is strong, resilient, and capable of amazing things. our friend needs to hear “You can do this.”
Remind Her She’s Not Alone
Unplanned pregnancies can feel lonely. Simply being a sounding board as your friend talks through changes ahead is helpful support. You don’t have to have all the answers.
Remind her you’ll be there for her throughout her pregnancy, and continue to love her little one once her baby arrives. Your presence and loyalty is especially important if the baby’s father is out of the picture. You can remind your friend she deserves support.
Celebrate with Her
Congratulate your friend as you would for any other pregnancy. New life is something to celebrate!
- Host a baby shower
- Gift her with a mom-to-be care package
- Surprise her with the snack she’s craving (no matter how random it is!)
- Splurge on a gift certificate for a prenatal massage
Don’t assume she knows you are excited to meet her little one—remind her you can’t wait to welcome her baby. Help her celebrate the changes happening in her life—this can look like helping decorate a nursery, talking about baby name ideas, or even speculating what traits her little one might inherit.
One of our podcast guests, Alexa Hyman, shared in her personal story that a friend simply celebrating her pregnancy news was a major turning point for her. Alexa writes,
For the first time…someone responded to my scary surprise pregnancy with the joy with which we respond to all other pregnancy announcements. His eyes filled with genuine excitement, he smiled and I smiled back – for the first time allowing myself to exhale with the news that a baby was really beginning to grow within me. His joy was the resounding joy every woman deserves to hear when she shares this news. Despite imperfect circumstances, there was life beginning (not ending) and that alone was cause for celebration. He dismissed my shame not seeing my pregnancy as a problem but something to be excited about. He pulled the joy buried inside of me.
Pray for Her
The most powerful way to support your friend is in prayer. Pray over the fears she is facing, and that solutions would present themselves. Pray for her health. Pray for her future and her child’s future. Pray that she would have joy in this season of change.
Empathize with Her
It’s important to not dismiss or minimize the concerns your friend may be feeling. Don’t brush her off if she shares her fears. An unplanned pregnancy can amplify worries about housing, a job, how her body may change, her relationships, and caring for other children.
If your friend expresses these feelings, you can connect her with our many resources. We’ve helped women enroll in pregnancy medicaid, WIC, find housing, and find a support system.
The Pregnancy Network’s free Pregnancy 101 and Parenting 101 classes will equip her for her next steps. One of the most common pieces of feedback from this class is that it was also an excellent way to find community. To sign up, call 336-274-4881.
The Pregnancy Network’s Connect Mentorship program has helped dozens of women find the support they need as they navigate pregnancy and parenting. This ongoing support has been especially helpful as women navigate their pregnancy throughout the COVID-19 pandemic.
No matter what challenges are ahead, we believe no woman should face her unplanned pregnancy alone. Our free services are always confidential, and we offer compassionate care no matter the circumstances. As one of the women we served said in her review, “This place is for women of all walks of life.” Click here to schedule an appointment today.
Would you like to offer support and encouragement to women in your community? Find out more about becoming a volunteer by visiting our website or emailing Volunteer Coordinator, Allison Herrington at aherrington@thepregnancynetwork.org.
Kacey Minor
Kacey is the Interim Communications Manager at The Pregnancy Network.