Coping with Pregnancy Loss: A Triad Mom Shares Her Story

 “The whole experience felt like whiplash after a car accident. Our world had shifted…”

If you’ve walked through the pain of pregnancy loss, you may understand exactly what this Triad mom was feeling following her miscarriage. In honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, we’re sharing her story and her perspective on what helped her cope.

Coping with Pregnancy Loss

One of the things that really helped me process was naming our first baby that we lost. 

The whole experience felt like whiplash after a car accident. Our world had shifted and then gone right back to the way it was before—except it hadn’t—and I knew that in order to process, I just needed to put a name to the face we had never met. 

As we faced a few more early losses just like the first one (otherwise known as chemical pregnancies), I was crushed every single time. 

I will admit that I didn’t feel like I had the bandwidth to name every baby we lost. It’s okay for the things that help you cope to change. We don’t always need the same things to process repeated loss. 

I found comfort in being open with my close friends about what was going on, listening to their encouragement, and holding onto their prayers for us. Community was a big part of going through losses for us. Being able to have my select friends that I would tell every time, who I knew would not be annoyed with me sharing, and that I could be honest with about my fluctuating emotions, was cathartic. 

One of the biggest things I wrestled with was just asking, “Why wasn’t this our time?” After months of frustration and through lots of prayer and talks with friends, I came to the conclusion that if God writes the story, and he is good, and I trust Him, then the story will be good. I would just repeat in my mind, “He writes the story.” 

Not “my story.” Because it’s not all my story. God is weaving a beautiful story together in the whole world, and I could find peace that even if my little sliver of the story wasn’t going as planned, that the whole outcome I know one day will be good—no matter what.”

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Pregnancy loss can feel like an invisible struggle, even though between 15-20% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. If you’re facing the seemingly isolating grief, you’re not alone. 

We invite you to listen to this podcast episode, where Sarah Philpott, author of Loved Baby: 31 Devotions Helping You Grieve and Cherish Your Child After Pregnancy Loss, discusses the difficult topic of miscarriage and stillbirth. She shares the heart behind writing this book, her own pregnancy loss story, the struggles that many women experience, and how to offer support to those walking through grief.