“Sleep while you can!”
“Oh, just wait…”
“Once baby comes, you’ll never sleep again!”
Every new mom has heard some variation of the above phrases. While these phrases may come from well-meaning family members or friends, they’re ultimately unhelpful. What new moms need is encouragement and truth.
Adapting your sleep schedule to the needs of your newborn is not easy, but you can do it! Every mom before you has bravely accomplished this task, and you can, too. Here’s the text I would send you if you were my friend expecting her first baby:
Hey girl! Home stretch! You’re so close to holding the precious miracle you’ve been longing to meet. I won’t even ask how you’re sleeping because I already know… every night before my son was born I was up for hours sitting in his rocker waiting for him. It sounds silly, but I really think my body was just preparing for him the best it could! That, and it’s just really hard to sleep while nine months pregnant, lol.
I know everyone’s telling you you’re not going to sleep once the baby comes, either, and I just wanted to share a little bit of what to expect for the first couple weeks because I was so nervous. Use whatever of this is helpful! Know that how your baby sleeps, whether in the first month or the first two years, is not a reflection of your parenting skills. You’ve got this, and I’m on stand by with coffee and snacks! ☕🥐🥨😋
🌙 The first night with your newborn, don’t expect to sleep much… if at all. 🌙
You’d think you’d be absolutely exhausted after literally birthing a human being, but your adrenaline may be so ramped up that you can’t or don’t want to sleep. After all, you’ll be so busy staring at the wondrous human you just brought into the world! I’d encourage you to at least try to sleep, even if all you want to do is spend every minute with your baby. Your partner, support person, or postpartum nurse would be more than happy to watch your baby while you get some much-needed rest.
(Also, this may sound obvious, but unless your nurse tells you otherwise, you can sleep while your baby is sleeping! My husband and I felt like we had to watch him every minute, but unless there’s a medical reason to keep your eye on baby, take advantage of those stretches of sleep, however small they might be!)
🤱You’ll wake up more than you think to feed your newborn. 🤱
If you’re planning to breastfeed, it may take some time to get the hang of it for both you and baby. That’s so normal! But one thing I didn’t expect was how much time each feed would take. By the time baby is four months old, they may only take 10 minutes to empty your breasts, but in the beginning, baby is just learning and may take up to an hour to eat. Factor in that baby needs to eat at least every three hours from the beginning of the last feed and… yeah. You only have *maybe* two hours before baby needs to be fed again.
My son needed to be held up for 30 minutes after each feeding due to reflux, and if you add in the time it takes to change them and get them back to sleep, it can be super tough. Hang in there! It may feel like you’re needed every second in those first few weeks, but I promise it gets easier. Once baby is back to their birth weight, your pediatrician will likely let you know that you can extend the stretch between feeds overnight. But in the meantime, I believe in you. Moms somehow just get the job done. 💪🫡
Quick tip: If breastfeeding ends up being more difficult than you expect, make an appointment with an IBCLC! We have one on staff at The Pregnancy Network that you can see at no cost. It can be so helpful to have someone check baby’s latch, encourage you, and give you personalized support.
🫂 If you can, have someone on stand-by to take over once baby is fed so you can get some sleep. 🫂
Especially that first week, you are still recovering from the massive energy expenditure that was labor, and while it’s hard to come by, you need your sleep. I could tell you sooo many stories of things I did out of pure exhaustion that first week after delivery (like crying when my husband didn’t hear me trying to wake him up). If you know you’re going to be parenting solo most of the time, see if anyone is available to come stay with you that first week. Whether it’s your mom, an aunt, or a rotation of friends, having someone to hand the baby off to once they’re fed is a God-send. Let them take care of the diaper change, burping, and rocking baby, and get some sleep!
We’re here to help.
The Pregnancy Network offers a Parenting 101 class to equip you with all the need-to-know information and parenting essentials. Classes are available on Zoom for your convenience. Each class you attend, you’ll receive a gift from us. Take advantage of our case management services and get connected to a network of local and national resources. You don’t have to do this alone, and we’re in your corner every step of the way.
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